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02/23/2010

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Kevin Hua

Hey Dave, been following your blogs for some time now but I thought I'd take this opportunity to jump in!

In some ways, I'm jealous. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, and when I look around and see fathers and families raising their kids to grow up loving Christ, I get a little sad that I didn't have the same opportunity. Oh, what I wouldn't do to have my own dad be transformed by the love of Christ and how that would flow into the rest of his life... especially in his relationship with me! What a difference that would've made in my own journey of finding Christ!

God has been faithful to me though, and one of the themes in the recent years of my life have really revolved around the healing of a 'father wound,' where I've really had to learn to come face to face with the fact that my earthly father didn't meet all of my needs, but my Heavenly Father does in all the ways my earthly father has failed.

I've been reflecting on how we need to experience both grace and truth in our father figures (God the Father being the perfect example!). Often times, fathers tend to lack in one area or the other. For my dad, he was really strong in truth. I always had the sense that he was a fighter of justice and will do what was needed to be done to make sure I was taken care of. But we need both! Along with being fighters, fathers need to be tenderhearted, patient, and emotionally present. Father figures need to be both fighters and shepherds! Having not really experienced the latter growing up really characterizes what my own walk with God looks like right now.

But then again, I have my share of friends who were raised in Christian homes where they were really pushed away from Christ. Sometimes it's so easy to boil down discipleship as a list of do's and don'ts rather than teaching your kids the Biblical principles in which to make Godly decisions! These people have a whole different set of hurts to overcome in finding Jesus.

As I reflect on my future and the possibility of raising my own children, I recognize that I WILL fall short. It's much harder to apologize to your kids when you fall short rather than trying to be the "always-right parent figure." I hope I can find the strength to apologize and find a way to point them to Jesus in my moments of weakness as a father!

Sam Li

A bunch of years ago I was following up on a welcome week contact card of a Crusade MK. I thought she'd for sure be the most mature Christian I'd ever met... but no! She was a normal, struggling college student, and Christ wasn't in her throne!

I think that's when I realized that parents can do LOTS of stuff right, but kids are still their own entities, and wild cards as far as how they'll turn out!

No wonder people say becoming a parent draws you closer to God... you need to pray and totally trust God with how your kids turn out!

My parents didn't raise us in such a way that pointed us to Christ, but my sister and I were blessed enough to be surrounded by influential people who did.

And on a totally unspiritual side note, I first read that verse to say "he who fathers a WHITE son will be glad in him." Can't say I fully agreed with it at first pass. But if it were true... good job fathering a white son!

Dave Goffeney

-Sam, that's really good to hear. I've experienced the same thing with Staff Kids and Pastor's kids. And i'm glad you saw the difference between "Wise" and "White"...it would have been weird coming from a Hebrew person who likely didn't know "White People".

-Kevin, I totally feel your pain and I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts on here. It was great to see you briefly last weekend. God bless!

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